shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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