I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
