are you so shy because you have an std?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
