clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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