I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
