i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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