State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
