Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
