i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
