look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
