Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
