The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
