a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
