its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
