We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
