Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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