if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dick very happy bro
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
