Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
