people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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