am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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