some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
