I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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