he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
How external is "for external use only"?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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