went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
