I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
