you win again, gameday.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
