Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
