He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So gin and wine won't be happening again
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
send nudes
from the living room?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
