I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
