I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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