genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
