You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
