But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
