do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
