don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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