Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
