I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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