Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize