he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
