My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
