someone threw a dead crab at me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
