she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
