dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He kissed a someone with a penis
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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