Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
