You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
