Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
