WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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