Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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