Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
