Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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