you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
