I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
